T + 5. Don't Tase me Bro

 24/02/2013


 Hb: 9.7     (+0.3)
Wbc: 0.82 (-0.31)
Npl: 0.77  (-0.24)
Pl: 12        (-7)

Weight: 79.5kg


I was going to duck back and update the 'Gumbo' post with some fresh information but for some reason the blog entry is locked and I can't edit it so I'll do it here. The chap I've been talking to through facebook is called Russell Cook, he had a similar jaunt (journey=arse) to me a couple of years ago although as you may have already read, his starting point was at a much much lower ebb than mine. He has since made a very respectable fist of recovery and is due to be running in the London Marathon next April to raise Money for Bone Marrow/AA/MDS associated charities. This is his give me your money page - www.virginmoneygiving.com/russellcook go there now and give him some of your benefits money (I know my audience - you like Jezza Bingo).

My tongue and mouth are starting to give me some serious gyp now, new sore patches and ulcers blossoming overnight as the chemo relentlessly chunters on and it's making eating the most delicious agony. Porridge wasn't a problem, but homemade marmalade on toast was something of a challenge. I knocked up a batch of rum and chili marmalade just before I came in and on balance the pain it caused me to eat it was only just outweighed by the pleasure it gave me to do the same. I had to nick off pretty sharpish to clean my teeth with the soft baby tooth brush to get the pointy bits of toast and chili burn off, but nothing had prepared me for what Listermint can do. To be fair, they do show the explosion going off in the model's mouth on the TV advert but I thought that was just a bit of artistic license. Fuck no!

My taste buds were all like 'Don't tase me bro!' 

Listermint was all like ' Yukumyukum you suure got a purty mouth thar boy'.

Obviously - it did not end well for me.

Meanwhile two of the orderly staff had taken advantage of the time that I was in the bathroom to duck in and change my bed (it's done every day) and they looked up, very concerned as I exited the bathroom asking 'What's the matter? - are you alright?  - are you upset?' Moi - 'No I'm fine why?' Ord- 'Why you cry so much then?' Girders me - GIRDERS!!!!!

Fortunately I am progressing along a well trodden path - plenty of people have been here before me, 120 a year, and the team have measures available which should allow me to happily munch on a bowl of pea gravel and toenail clippings should I choose. The first is a painkiller mouthwash called Difflan, swill 15ml around the mouth and spit every 90 to 180 minutes, does a wonderful job of numbing the poor ravaged oral tissue. There is another morphine based solution which is for the next level along and I'm not quite sure I'm there yet it's called Omlu or somesuch, maybe by the weekend I'll know.



Chemo Cowboy and friend

I've managed to get into my blackberry and transfer the pictures I've taken onto the blog - there's about a half dozen dotted amongst the entries and hopefully can add a bit more insight and colour.  And since I think it's especially important for people to know what I look like wearing a cardboard crapper as a cowboy hat I make no apologies for the repost. ENJOY.