T - 8. Much later that same day...

I thought I had better get this down while I remember, because it'll probably be wiped from my mind when I wake up tomorrow. So anyway earlier on this evening Katie, one of the nurses came in holding the usual plastic cup with a load of pills in it and she started telling me what they were called and used for, as I ate them - all sizes and colours - to stop me puking, to stop me getting fungal, viral and bacterial infections - you get the general idea. Then I heard a name I recognised from way back- PHENYTOIN.

Me: 'I used to take this for my petit mal epilepsy when I was kid, it's an anti-colvulsant or some such isn't it?'
Her: 'Yes that's right.'
Me: 'Well I won't be needing those, I grew out of having those fits at 19 and there's been no repeat and I haven't needed meds since 1981'

I thought at this point that they had retrieved my medical records dating back to the 1970's and had  picked up the need for the prescription from there. (Yeah I know it's stupid- well NOW I know)

Her: 'You will most definitely be needing these.'
Me: 'Why's that then?'
Her: 'Well let me tell you a bit about the next round of chemo starting tomorrow...'

It transpires that the next course of this nine day feast is Busulphan administered i/v, which can give you a serious case of the billy wobblers ie fits, convulsions and swallahdetung if you're NOT full of Phenytoin and she was providing me with a pre-dose to get my system ready.

Then  fast forward to about 3 hours ago, when I was playing Words With Friends with a bunch of chums on Facebook when all of a sudden the room got echoey - as I was using the laptop keyboard it emitted a very satisfying echo. I also noticed what a lovely bright silvery colour the keyboard keys were and for that matter how everything else in the room suddenly seemed a bit perkier and pleasing to the eye.

Now I've been sober for close to 10 years and straight for nearly as long, so it was only after I'd been marveling at the back of my hand for a bit that the penny dropped. I floated across to my little bathroom and had a look in the mirror. Yep - there's your problem - the drug fairy had replaced my pupils with manhole covers. My pupils were so frigging big that I could almost see right through to the back of my own head.

It's a wild guess that it's the Phenytoin giving me this lovely gentle buzz and to be honest I've ingested so many pills over the past few days it could be any or all of them. However, I'm enjoying the feeling at the moment, it's not a huge all consuming buzz, more the kind that makes interesting things happen at the periphery of your vision and makes running your tongue over your teeth so satisfying - just enough so that you can kinda feel that you're through the looking glass rather than full on rocked up at the Tea Party.

So I'm good with this, because it gives me options - if I should come up against a particularly grim session of daytime TV in the paper first thing I can either go with it and enjoy the Phenny or palm the caps and wait for the wobbles to take me. After all everyone likes abit of a dancey-dance now and then don't they?