T + 508. Concerning Tree Fu Tom's Nutsack

I don't know if any other post BMT patients have had any similar experiences, but since starting on immuno-suppressant medication about 18 months ago I have found that I get very vivid dreams. Our day fairly often starts with me relating the previous nights increasingly bizarre dreams to Jeannette before they are wiped from my memory - which normally happens within, I dunno 15 minutes to half an hour after waking up.

Although I can't recall any specifics now, there are common themes that regularly crop up - I'm fairly often angry or violent and spend quite a lot of time punching people out which is very satisfying, or I'll be back at work or involved in some kind of employment and the location is very often London, either in the street or in an underground or railway station which can only be a residual hangover from the commute and years spent working in town. One worrying scenario that I'm always pleased to wake up from is that I look down at my hand and find that I've holding a glass of booze and have started drinking again - even in the dream I feel incredibly disappointed about this - and the sense of relief that I feel when I realise that it was only a dream is just like being given a piece of incredible good news.

Depending on the kind of reading it makes I may start recording some of the dreams in this blog - because to be honest some of the situations that my subconscious contrives are so bloody bizarre that I have to believe that they can only be caused by some of the meds I'm on crossing the blood/brain barrier and fucking with my synapses while I'm fast a kip.

I had a consult up at Kings earlier this week, my meds are gradually being reduced; Budesonide (for IBS) is now down from three times a day to twice, I haven't had any symptoms or GI/Bowel trouble for a couple of months now but appreciate that  reductions in medication need to happen gradually so as not to throw the body out of its stable state. Prednisone is also on the way out which I am pleased about - I've been told that it can take anything up to 18 months to shed the steroid bloat, but I kinda think I can see a change already although it could just be wishful thinking! Eyes and mouth both stable, which is not to say that things are good, they just haven't got worse - eating is not a problem but I wouldn't risk anything spicy, chilified,  mouthwash or even normal toothpaste at the moment - and carbonated drinks are borderline.

Appointments at Kings College are pretty much swings and roundabouts, a lot of the time I manage to get seen at the beginning of the session as my consultations tend to be fairly short ie 30-40 minutes, I'm fairly pragmatic about my situation and go in knowing what I want to ask and have all my meds and recent history at the ready so there's no faffing about. If you get stuck in the waiting room you find that (although I don't blame them for it) some people tend to use these consultations as therapy sessions and they're in there for fucking ages. This week I got stuck in one such situation. I left home at 10am arrived early, had my bloods done by 12.30 and was bright eyed and perky tailed in the waiting room for 1.30pm hoping for a quick base touching session with the consultant. Which is where I stayed for the next three and a half hours (the waiting room I mean). Got home at 8pm too tired to cook or eat so just chugged down a protein shake and stumbled up to bed to watch a DVD with J before crashing.

A little late to the party, we've started on Series 1 of  'Breaking Bad' and can completely see what all the fuss is about - plus all of the diagnosis and chemo scenes will be achingly familiar to anyone that has been there. The story telling totally hooks you in, in much the same way as 'The Wire' did a few years ago and even this early on I can understand why people are raving about it, TV like this is rare.

Apologies if you've already heard this tale through my FB page, - but there is an update on the Milo front.

'He's called SCROTUM!'

Jeannette walked in to the lounge the other afternoon to find him engrossed in a show called Tree Fu Tom which he loves. She tried to get him talking about it and asked the name of of a character on screen - he mumbled something that she was unable to hear clearly, so she asked him to repeat it -

'Mummy I just told you, - he's called SCROTUM!'

Of course Jeannette dissolved on the spot and called me - we spent the next ten minutes asking him to name the character and pissing ourselves with laughter. All this time he was getting increasingly irate until it got to the point where he refused to discuss the matter any further which is a shame because it would have been nice to wheel out that particular party trick in front of guests. Oh well it was fun while it lasted and BTW I had a look on IMDB and character is actually called Squirmtum...