At first glance this seemed like a great idea, apart from the fact that the floor is a bit bit wonky and 'Wet Room' should really be extended to mean the bedroom as well - it seeps out under the door and puddles across the floor. First time I nearly went A over T as I came out - so now I put a towel sausage across the bottom of the bathroom door.
I'm being given 2 different types of antibiotics, one of which is jacked straight into the canulla (Meropenin) the other via IV is Clarythromycin which takes about an hour at a time - I'm also getting saline drips and magnesium (for the claw). The docs believe that although the chest infection is viral, it is also overlaid with something bacterial making the phlegm green rather than clear- oh and enjoy your breakfast.
Have also been put on 6 hourly nebulisers - you wear a clear plastic mask and the good stuff is converted from a clear liquid into a mist like vapour which you draw in as deeply as possible for about 30 minutes. Works great - and I walk around the room singing 'Ricola' afterwards. Downside? - well it gives you the demon shakes for a couple of hours and reminds me a bit of Monday mornings in my bad old drinking days when it took two hands to raise a cup of coffee to my mouth so that I didn't end up wearing it.
Had a chat with Jeannette this morning and she told me that she nearly pooed herself earlier when a field mouse went scuttling across our kitchen floor. Fair play to her though she caught and repatriated it and even said how cute it was close up. Before you start judging we are not some scumbag family living amidst a maze of empty take away and pizza boxes - it's just part of living in a rural location.
Eating OK in here so far, breakfast is alright - Special K and a couple of croissant and orange juice, I try to stick with something chicken based for the other meals either from the standard or hala/kosher menus- h/k menu is generally pretty reliable, but it let me down the other day when I made the mistake of going for the 'Cod goujons served with croquet potatoes and creamed spinach'. Sounds good right?
Well the halal/kosher meals are prepacked like TV dinners and are nuked on the ward kitchen before being served. I dunno who was in charge of the microwave that day - I have an inkling it may have been Chuck Norris. The food was so hot when it arrived that it was almost glowing like lava and when I eventually got the plastic knickers off the prepack lets say I was less than enthused. The croquets were were little spuddy marbles, I think I last saw the spinach emerging from the mouth of a CGI demon on Ghostbusters and the frigging goujons were like chicken bones in soggy batter. It was very disappointing and the first truly inedible meal I've been served since coming here. Needless to say I was off to the hospital shop for sandwiches, fruit and yoghurt pretty soon after that.
Stupidly, I'm still doing the whole sadomasochistic trip by eating prawn cocktail and ridged steak crisps on a regular basis even though I still have extensive GVHD ulcers in my mouth running along both cheeks and around the inside of my lips. It's a pretty close run thing thing on the pleasure/pain stakes - I'd put it at 51% to 49% and worth every agonising mouthful. That sounds a bit fetishistic reading it back...
Anyway during the course of this pervery I came up with a great green idea to help prevent bank robberies. Whatever it is that Mcoys put on their steak flavoured ridge crisps - the smell of the stuff is just frigging impossible to get off. I got fed up with smelling like a 21 day aged chunk of biltong - even after using sterile alcohol wipes, multiple sessions of hand washing and two showers - in the end the only fix was spraying my hands with underarm deodorant which is marginally better but not much - ended up smelling like a freshly washed Aberdeen Angus. Back to the idea though - put a steak crisp flavour bomb in the stolen money duffle bag and there's no way that shit is coming off. Then you just unleash the sniffer dogs and hey presto job done.
Granted a couple of innocent crisp munching fatties might get mauled on the way but as I can now testify from having a roll of fat across my gut, I cant even feel injections there any more so a couple of dogbites should be no problem with the added bonus that the cops are practically guaranteed to get the criminal.
Dunno how I do it I could come up with stuff like this all day reckon I should start up a think tank or a consultancy.
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